I am about to
be married in less than 6 weeks. I am filled with so many emotions as the time
approaches. There is a great sense of gratefulness and awe towards this
upcoming chapter of my life. I am astonished at the trajectory of my life as
one glance to my right and to my left quickly reminds me of how I quickly could
have chosen a different path. Growing up I was victim of many changes and
changes that I hated. I vowed very early on that I would never make room for
anyone to make me bleed or allow change to break my spirit. This translated
into my personality as an adolescent and young adult. I mastered the art of
keeping everyone at arm’s length. This assured me self-preservation in that I
developed an ability to anticipate, foresee, counter and avoids any hurt or
attempts to hurt me. This also contributed to my academic achievements and a
strong sense of self-sufficiency. I recognize that God meticulously and
sovereignly shaped my past experiences and is at work in the present and future
aspects of my life. He appointed experiences and people in my past who were
patient and showed me loved even when I didn’t reciprocate or knew how to receive
genuine love and care. These people were not many but their actions and words
resonated loudly into my life even when I didn’t even realize it at the time. God
showed and nursed my past wounds to the point where significant healing took shape.
This led to a lowering of my defensive walls, a sense of personal freedom that I
never knew existed before and ultimately my ability to not only receive but to
reciprocate love. The guy who was once fearful of change and begged for constancy
is now openly receptive and ecstatic about transitioning into a life of marriage
and eternal union. Who else but God?
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