Consider the biblical duty of parents toward their children. Parents are instructed to raise their children in the wisdom of the lord so that when they grow they do not depart from it. They are instructed to influence their character from birth in assuring that they understand biblical principles with the clear indication that children will eventually grow and parents' realm of influence will eventually diminish. This is not an easy job but the implication behind raising a child is clearly "God-centered" and not "parents' centered". Thus children are best raised by keeping this end in mind which is to raise children in the discipline of the Lord for God's glory and purpose. This does not necessarily mean that children who are raised in such are bound to become flawless and God lovers. Thus we see that devoted parents who bring up their children in Godly principles are not promised godly children. The closest example to this is that of Lucifer revolting against God in heaven. The amount of pastors and devoted believers in one family is not enough to raise a Godly child.
The limitation in parents' ability to influence their children is an idea that is often ignored and not fully explored. Perhaps it is rooted in the general pride that most Haitian families assume in raising children. Or perhaps it is rooted in a culture that does not pride in admitting faults and limitations. Families are taught early on to see their children as a mirror reflection and work very hard to assure children represent them well in deeds and actions. Haitian culture provides a lot of incentive for parents to overcompensate their limitations by assuming full responsibilities for their children's growth and discipline. Parents are publicly praised and honored when their child achieve great success and are active in church even when some of the success is in spite of the parents' influence. Conversely, there is no incentive in acknowledging parent's limitations and how it periodically increases as children age.
Without a sincere grasp on this reality, most families often become extremely frustrated, frazzled, hopeless, depressed and feel a great sense of failure when they realize that their perceived influence on a child's life was a mere mirage and the child's sinful behavior is publicly exposed. This often leads to physical, mental, spiritual and emotional disturbances. This sense of self-depreciation is often a result of immense disappointment in how one's family will be perceived in the community and not that a holy God has been offended. It is rarely perceived as families' own limitation on the lives of children who are SINNERS.
Parents' limitation on their child is not merely an indication of parents need to depend on the Lord. It is the indication that every child is the Lord's and children's obedience to God's standard is supremely more valuable than children's allegiance and obedience to parent/culture standards. It is the realization that when devoted parents have done all in their power to influence their child in the knowledge of God; they still yet have to rely on a limitless God who can save and influence children bred in sin. Limitations shouldn’t dismiss parents' responsibility to influence and discipline their child in the Lord; rather it should simply inform and dictate it by prioritizing children's obedience and growth in the love for God as the main priority in raising children. Parents' limitation is the incentive that should compel mothers and fathers to boast in their weaknesses/limitation; to surrender their children to the Lord above all things and quit raising a child to reflect and appease one's outlook in the community. After all, aren’t all that is in heaven and earth the Lord's?
In hearing some of the topics discussed and reviewed by concerned parents during the February's weekend seminar, it's evident that families are seeking answers for their children. Parents are concerned about their son turning into responsible men and their daughters becoming women of virtue and integrity. It is helpful to consider that limited parents cannot and will never influence their children on their own. It is helpful to consider that only God can save and protect and that the earth is the Lord and all that is in it. In parents recognizing and coming to grip with their own limitations, the hope is that they will learn to rely more on God's ability to move their children.
It's a great article. Although, we say that God is in control, we sometimes take the fact that our children going astray harder than God. We should definitely do all that we can as parents and really leave everything else in the hands of our omnipotent Father.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts on the article. Thanks for the read
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